Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
