Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
