My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
