Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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