He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
