I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
