We're like a lot better than the average bears
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
