Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
