Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
