whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I wear drunk well.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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