You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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