hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
