I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
"it" just moved
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
