so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
