She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
