I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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