apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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