I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
