I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
