Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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