I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
