Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
