Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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