Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
