Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
