So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
