It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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