we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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