you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize
