nut hugger
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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