so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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