these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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