but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
