i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
