Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
