Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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