he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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