I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
