I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
