His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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