Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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