i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Found the puke drawer
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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