A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
