Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
