Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
