Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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