The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
