You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
