I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
