hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
