is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
