I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
