My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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