Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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