she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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