My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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