Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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