I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
