This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
