she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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