Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
worst night to have a conscience
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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