it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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