We're facebook friends in real life
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
