i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
